When I Need You

Aria hadn't expected the laugh that followed her telling him what a lousy excuse he'd made, and tried not to let it derail what she had to say. For the most part, it didn't, but she didn't know what to expect when she was done. She was just hoping for something better, something to hold on to. It wasn't like he really owed it to her though. He was her bartender on the most basic of levels. She chose to go to him, to chat him up, and he had a job to do. He had to be friendly and keep the patrons happy. But she wanted a reason all the same. She wanted to understand this.

He agreed with her, so that was something at least. She listened to the rest of what he had to say, watching the street around them as they walked. "You never asked me if that's what I wanted," she said when he was done. Maybe it was defensive, but it was also true. What was it Aria wanted? Another long term relationship like she'd had with Antony, passionate and perfect in the beginning and then stifling and painful in the end? That sounded awful. She'd had other relationships too, most of them significantly shorter, and did she want Elias to pass through her life like that too? No. She didn't want him to dedicate himself to her if it only meant they'd have to leave each other down the line. She just wanted more of him, of her oasis, and she wasn't as choosy as he thought she was with the how.

"Right at the next street. I'm the fourth house on the right," she said, remembering to direct him. They'd been walking for so long, but it still seemed like her house had come up too fast. There were still plenty of things to say. "I just got out of a really long relationship not so long ago, and I'm not ready to go back to that again. I'm not looking for Mr. Forever, and I don't want some guy to make me a bunch of promises. I just want more with you than conversations in a crowded bar. I want more of this." She gestured generally between them with one hand, but of course that didn't cover anything. "I don't mean more of you having to carry me home after some guy tries to force himself on me, but I mean more of just you and me, whatever that means. I don't want anything more than you want to give. Do you want me, Eli?" The question was direct now, not one he could skirt around. He was good at dancing around what he didn't want to answer, but she wanted to know that much, at least.

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WC: 466
Tag: Elias R. Jagger

The silence that followed Aria's question felt too long, and she felt her spirits sink. She looked away from him at the houses they were passing, all familiar. Aria had lived here all her life, although at some points during the war, the family had to clutch to the house to keep it. Many of the neighbors remained the same, although the Mercents were never really close with any of them. She tried to think about those neighbors, what they might be doing, as Elias walked her to her house. Most of them couldn't be trusted to know the families that the Mercents had housed over the years, and many of them were exactly the kind of people Aria found she couldn't stand being with anymore. To many of them, the war was just a bad day they could forget about.

The pair of them stopped in front of her own house, and she felt herself being lowered back to the ground. She was sure at this point that it had been a mistake to say anything, that it would only make her next trip to the bar uncomfortable. Should she still go there after tonight? But if not there, where? She still spent plenty of mindless nights with her mother, doing little, but they didn't satisfy her for long. She wasn't a homebody like her mother. Well, screw that. She would still go back, and she would make things fine, one way or the other. She straightened her dress with one hand while still carrying her shoes in the other, looking down at herself when Elias finally said something.

Even such a direct question as the one she had asked didn't get a direct answer from Elias. Should she have expected any different? She looked back up at him as he, for once, was asking her out. It wasn't a solid yes or a solid no to her question, but it wasn't nothing either. She smiled softly, for the briefest moment considering saying no but knowing that she couldn't. He wasn't easy to get to know, to get answers from - but if he was, would she be as interested? If he laid himself out plain like she did from the beginning, would he have drawn her to him so much? Probably not. But what she had learned only made her want to learn more.

Resting her hands on his shoulders to steady herself a bit, Aria raised herself up to kiss his cheek. She stayed at that height for a moment, looking up at him with her face close to his as she answered. "Thank you for tonight, Eli," she said, then lowered herself back down and let go of him. She smiled and turned, making the final few awkward steps to her front door. She wished it could have been a graceful walk, but stepping on broken glass tonight had had more perks than drawbacks. She unlocked the door and reached for the handle before looking back to him. "You know where I live," she said with a smile, the only answer she was going to give even though inside she wanted to grin and just say yes. Then, she turned to open her door and stepped inside.

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WC: 540
Tag: Elias R. Jagger