District 4
Heterosexual
18 Years Old
Relationship:
Complicated
Occupation:
???
HG Status:
Victor
Life of the Party
Last Online:
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Post by Pyra Elswood on Sept 21, 2016 11:50:20 GMT -7
There is some explicit content in this thread, so here's a trigger warning beforehand. (Though I know it's a little late) I dreamed a dream in time gone by When hope was high And life worth living I dreamed that love would never die I dreamed that God would be forgiving Pyra had only been home three nights. It was three nights of terror, with the faces of the ones she killed ripping into her as she slept. Every morning was harder and harder to get up, and it was exhausting to live out the rest of the day. Fake smiles, pouring out energy she didn't have, and wondering if this whole ordeal was even worth it in the end. She had her family around her and paid off their debt, she had Adam with her, and she had everything she could ever want. Why couldn't she just appreciate that? God, she wished it was that easy. Sometimes she didn't even know if it was real, as her version of reality had blurred with her night terrors. It was scary for the seventeen year old girl. But sometimes, her dreams weren't of the tributes she killed tearing her apart--no, it was something even scarier. Their families, brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers. She had all of their faces from the Victory Tour etched in her mind. There were so many families, so many faces, and so much hatred towards her. She killed their babies, their children. This was her fault. Everything was her fault, now. And she just couldn't escape the blame.
It was so easy to say sorry. She was known for her apologies being so fake in the arena. Sorry I have to kill you, she would say to all of the tributes she killed. No, you aren't, they would say back. Back then, she thought she was really sorry. She thought that excuses would make everything better. That if she just apologized, she would be forgiven. But Pyra found out that, in the end, it didn't work like that. She had killed these children in cold blood, taken kids away from their families, and she was the reason that they had died. She had acted on her own free-will. Until the end, the gamemakers didn't force her to kill. She was so determined to go home that she would take the lives of not one or two, but seven tributes. She remembered her initial goal: stick with the Careers, help a little, and let them do all the killing. But idea of going home had consumed her mind, making her so obsessed with the fact that her life was the only one that mattered.
But she wasn't going to fight Quirinus, in the end. If the gamemakers didn't make her fight to save Adam, Quirinus would have won. She would have let him kill her. She would have risked everything to save him. Hell, if he had taken the first real shot, he would have won. But so many factors had to complicate things. She knew she wasn't suppose to be here. He should have been here, in this Victors house with his family. She had stolen that away from him. He was the one face she couldn't get out of her head. She cared for him so much, and to think she could just kill him in one hit, was something she wished she had never done. The trident sticking out of his chest, the way he pulled it out and looked at her. God, she wished all of this mattered. Like he had told her. But she couldn't see it. She was just so scared and so full of guilt.
A true Career. A perfect victor. That was what she was suppose to be. She should be proud that she had killed tributes. She should be happy that she had won. She should be grateful to be such a great and perfect victor.
On the third night of being back in District 4, she quietly slipped out of bed. She hadn't been able to sleep that night, and she could really feel the exhaustion weighing her down. She almost fell down when she tried to get out, but she caught herself to make sure she didn't wake anyone in the home. She looked at the clock by her door: 2:47 in the morning. It had been six hours of laying in bed, tossing and turning and not being able to sleep. Pyra quickly put on some decent clothes and put on a jacket, knowing that the ocean can make the weather colder at night.
She walked out of the large home and shut the door. She had just realized that she was barefoot, but it didn't matter. Pyra walked quickly out of the village and into the city. Her old home was on the very end of town. The whole place was empty with the exception of a couple Peacekeepers. She kept her head down, but with the games just ending, everyone knew who she was. The girl who killed more tributes than anyone else in recent years. Congratulations. The lights in the town were dim, enough so she could see, but the real light that guided her was the moon. The night air was nice tonight, better than the sticky air in the arena, no doubt. The smell of sea salt and the sound of waves filled her ears. She wished the times were simpler, though in her life, they were never really simple.
Pyra saw her shack in the bad part of town. Her memories there were great but terrible. Her family was always so close, and despite everything that they went through, they were happy. Yes, there was rarely food on the table and her mother and brother were disabled, but they were still unbelievably happy. She felt like she had ruined that when she volunteered. She remembered coming home from Adam's after training in the evening and working in the boat crew in the morning. They would all be asleep and she would crawl into the same bed as Breckon, who would snore and she would laugh. She wished she could go back to those times.
The house was abandoned now, with most of their things packed up and moved into the Victors' Village. But there was one thing she hadn't brought. She opened the door to the creaky shack, and put her bare feet on the splinted wood. Goosebumps crawled on her back. This was it, wasn't it? She could have easily turned to alcohol for her problems, like Adam. Or used sex to relieve her anger and sadness. Hell, she could've used morphine to go away for a while. But all of those seemed like excuses. She was done making excuses with herself, done making up lies and apologizing for things she wasn't sorry for. She made a deal with the devil in the arena--kill and you shall receive. So she did and she got everything she wanted. But the deal wasn't as sweet as she wanted it. It came with memories of faces and nightmares of death.
Pyra walked to her's and Breckon's old room. It was nothing now but an empty bed stand, a small table that she used to put Breckon's toys on, and the dusty cobwebs in the corner. She sat down in the middle of the room next to the loosest plank in the home. It was hidden from Breckon, because god forbid if he got his hands on it. Don't use it unless it's an emergency, her father had told her. She lifted up the plank. Her father took it from one of the Peacekeepers on a boat he worked on, not because he ever wanted to use it, but because they lived in the bad part of town. If anyone had tried to hurt their family, she was told to use it. She never had to, of course, but it was still under the plank after all these years. She set the plank to the side and saw the slick, black pistol. She grabbed the handle of it, set it next to her, and put the plank back in its place. She set the gun in front of her, putting her hands in her lap and looked at it.
She knew that she could've let someone else have their chance of victory. But she wasn't sorry she won. She was sorry that she couldn't escape. Pyra always wanted to be a better sister to Breckon. A better daughter to her Ma and Pa. A better friend to Quirinus. And a better lover to Adam. She had lied to each and every one of them to the point where she felt as if she couldn't go back. Tears streamed down her face without her realizing. Her hands were shaking now as she moved her arm towards the gun. Her fingers curled around the grip, and the gun shook just as her hands did. She thought of all the people she disappointed. She thought of all the people that hated her. She thought of the guilt eating away at her mind. Why couldn't Pyra just be good? Why couldn't Pyra just have died? Maybe Pyra should die. The blonde victor put the gun to her forehead with her hand on the trigger. All she had to do was shoot. Shoot, she thought. WORD COUNT: 1551
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District 4
Hunger Games Victor
Heterosexual
23 Years Old
Relationship:
??
Occupation:
HG Status:
Social Butterfly
Last Online:
Jan 17, 2024 11:55:03 GMT -7
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Post by Finnick Odair on Sept 23, 2016 20:54:09 GMT -7
Finnick lay awake, staring at the dark ceiling. Next to him, Annie turned over in her sleep, letting out the smallest of whimpers. He squeezed his eyes shut, listening to her small movements as she wrestled with a dream. This one wasn't so bad, for which he was grateful, but they never stopped. Years had passed and he did everything he could, but the dreams never stopped for Annie. He didn't think she'd ever stop being haunted. And now, a new girl in their district would be haunted. For the fourth time since his own Games, a victor had returned to District 4. there was celebration in the streets, and the Elswood family was one of those lucky few who would get their child back. For his own part, though, Finnick was glad he'd been banned from going to the Capitol this year. He wouldn't have to be there to guide her as he had for Annie, Kailani, and Adam. But he wouldn't be able to stay away from her entirely either. Sleep was miles away, and Annie's constant motion didn't help, so Finnick slipped out of bed. He pulled on a pair of pants and a shirt, then made his way downstairs. He pulled on a jacket and stepped outside, closing the door gently behind him, even though Annie was unlikely to hear a thing. Running a hand through sleep-mussed hair, he surveyed the dark hours around him. The victor's village was quiet this late at night - or early in the morning, rather. The clock he had passed on the way out proclaimed that it was just past 2 am. Every victor and their surviving family members were likely sleeping, plagued with nightmares or blessed with blissful blankness in seemingly random pattern. It was quiet enough to hear the crash of ocean waves beyond the village, to hear the wind play with whatever was left out in the night. It was a kind of peaceful that he enjoyed from time to time, because nothing about this silent time asked anything at all of him. He didn't know how long he'd been out there, but movement a few houses down caught his attention. A figure was walking quickly away from the home, her blonde hair catching pieces of moonlight as she walked. Even without the hair, he knew easily enough who it was. Finnick stood silently and, driven almost entirely by curiosity, followed her out of the village. He caught up to a safe distance behind her easily enough, and though he was quiet she didn't seem interested in checking to see if she was being followed. She apparently had a long way to walk, but he didn't mind the exercise. The faces she walked quickly passed turned to him, and he often gave an innocent shrug or a smile in reply. Just Finnick Odair, that man they knew and loved, following after the newest of victors. Not unusual. Finally, she turned into a house, and he hesitated only a moment before sliding in after her. He didn't know the place, of course, but had a decent guess what it was - her old home. It felt wrong that he was here, especially since he'd barely talked to the girl, before or after her victory. But he was this far already, and it was too late to go back. Finnick took in the mostly empty house, which once held the happy family of four. The "happy" he assumed, based on the post-Games interviews with the family and the relief on all their faces. She was a different type of Career volunteer, this girl. When he finally got to the room she had traveled toward, he pulled up short at the sight of the gun pressed against her temple. "Our good buddy Q would probably tell you that you're being pretty stupid right now," Finnick said, his voice cutting through the shadowy darkness. He actually had no clue what Quirinus Pontifex would say if he was standing here right now, but it was the idea that first came into his mind. That boy was part of the very little he knew about this girl, because Finnick hadn't really watched the Games. He had scanned the recaps, incredibly briefly, for any indication of how Annie was doing. If she had an interview, he wanted to see it for some sign of her state of coping. He had no idea whether or not Adam was actually keeping an eye on her, and he was worried. Finnick had asked for a break from being a mentor though, and though there was guilt in his heart, he'd taken it. He'd been able to avoid everything else about the Games except the final fight. You couldn't move in the district without running into a crowd of gawkers. Everyone was watching the final three, two of which were District 4's very own. A District 4 winner was assured, and that had happened - but the final battle had broken hearts. It had broken the hearts of lovesick girls. It had broken the heart of that poor little waif of a mother that had done an interview or two about her son. It had broken his own heart. "You said that people won't remember you if you die. But me, I'll never forget you. No matter what. I'll care. I will." The cameras had let that play, but Finnick knew it had never been for them. Taking a few steps toward the newly-crowned victor, Finnick continued. "After all, you're here and he's not. Winning was just his dream, but he was spared the burden of living with it. He got off easy. You and me, we knew better, don't we?" He raised his eyebrows in a way that could have been interpreted as mirth in any other place, but not here. It if was humor, it was of the darkest kind. He had a little bit of experience in talking people down of their metaphorical ledges - including an physical ledge at least once - but he also knew he couldn't stop Pyra from ending it right here. He wouldn't blame her for it either. They both had kills under their belts, faces that would always haunt them, and that guilt, boiling under the surface. So, he didn't talk sweetly to Pyra. He didn't beat around the truth. He poked at one of the pains that brought her here, and she'd either let the memory of killing her district partner pull her back from the brink or push her over it. If she wanted to end her life, really and truly, nothing he could say would change that - not the reminder of the people who loved her, not how grateful she should be to be alive, nothing. But if she was looking to be pulled back to life, he would give that a try all the same. WC: 1145 Tag: Pyra Elswood
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District 4
Heterosexual
18 Years Old
Relationship:
Complicated
Occupation:
???
HG Status:
Victor
Life of the Party
Last Online:
Nov 6, 2018 1:05:01 GMT -7
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Post by Pyra Elswood on Sept 24, 2016 12:41:36 GMT -7
Pyra was going to do it. Before the hours of sunrise, she was going to end it. She wouldn't be able to cause anyone else more pain than she already had. She wouldn't be able to cause herself any more pain. She always wished she could be more selfless than selfish, but it was always the other way around. She had to be selfish to win, she had to be selfish to go back to her family, and she had to be selfish to take lives in the arena. To her, it wouldn't be selfish to end her own life. It would be selfless. She had already cause so much pain. The silence around her was frightening, and when she was about to pull the trigger, words cut through the air. It was someone she knew, who really everybody knew, but someone she was not at all expecting.
As an instinctive reaction, she bolted her torso around and pointed the gun at him. Our good buddy Q would probably tell you that you're being pretty stupid right now, he had said. Before she could take what he had said in, she was extremely surprised to find someone like Finnick Odair in this part of town. Had he followed her? He must have. She couldn't see any other reason he would be here but that. "Finnick Odair?" She said with shock, her eyebrows furrowing. "What are you doing here?" She couldn't imagine why he was here, except maybe if he was curious or thought that it would be best to talk to her in the middle of the night. Sketchy, she thought, but she couldn't imagine him doing anything bad. He seemed like a good guy, after all. She had never spoken to him, but that was the vibe she got from him.
She finally took his words in and lowered her gun into her lap, facing away from him as she was from the beginning. Quirinus would probably kill her himself if he saw her doing this. The blonde girl was stupid, after all. But she thought this was the right thing. She almost knew it was the right thing. As more time passed on, she wished he was here. He was the smarter, stronger, and better of the pair. He was the one who would live out District 4's victor legacy of impressive winners. Pyra was just a tiny girl who lied to make herself seem like a Career and got lucky. There was nothing more to it. If anything, she wished he was here with her. He would be able to keep her from doing stupid things. But for now, she figured Finnick Odair would have to do, even if she was convinced that she still should end her life.
"Yeah, he would probably hate me. He never did deal with weak tributes very well," she said. It was true. If he even saw any remote signs of anyone being weak, he would attack them instantly. Toby, for example. He was strong until he wasn't, and Q dealt with him easily. Why did she have to think of him so much? Every day, she thought about him more and more. She knew it was stupid. It wasn't like she was in love with him or anything. He was just a partner, a tribute who helped her. At least, that's what he should be to her.
Pyra turned around to face him, still sitting on the ground. She put the gun next to her instead of in front of her. She didn't know if life was worth living, after all. "I wish winning would have been my dream. Too bad it never was from the start." She said, and it was true. She never wanted to win for the sake of winning, she wanted to win for the sake of saving her family. Maybe Quirinus did get let off easy. Or maybe he would have been able to take it better than she did and bask in the glory of winning. Too bad he wasn't here except in hypotheticals and wishes. "Yeah, I guess we do. Why have you stayed alive all this time? I've been home three days and I can't get a grip. You've been here for years." Was it that she couldn't handle the pressure and he could? Probably. It was just so hard for her. Everything was just too hard to the point where she did want to end her life. Maybe this would be her last conversation before she shot herself in the head, or maybe it would be the first conversation she had that she could actually recover from something that haunted her since the games. WORD COUNT: 787 TAG: Finnick Odair
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District 4
Hunger Games Victor
Heterosexual
23 Years Old
Relationship:
??
Occupation:
HG Status:
Social Butterfly
Last Online:
Jan 17, 2024 11:55:03 GMT -7
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Post by Finnick Odair on Oct 3, 2016 21:37:54 GMT -7
Finnick held his hands up in innocence as the blonde girl turned the gun she'd been holding on him. He wasn't really afraid she'd shoot him, though perhaps the speaking-out-of-nowhere idea wasn't among his best. He kept his eyes trained on her, not moving so long as she kept the gun leveled at him. He quirked a half smile at her question. "Just out for a walk," he replied innocently, reminding himself to hold off on any extra quips beyond that. Pyra lowered the gun, and Finnick lowered his hands right after. She turned away from him, and when she spoke again, he was a bit glad she couldn't see his face. There was nothing to say to something like that, so her words just hung in the still air. He wasn't sure if her reaction to his bringing up her partner was a step forward or a step back, but she wasn't still pressing the weapon to her head at least. The girl was so unlucky in that, in having a partner who had meant something to her. Finnick had been responsible for his own district partner's death all those year ago, but it hadn't been the same. She had been cold and angry, a mixture of child throwing a temper tantrum and deadly killer. He'd seemed to like her in the arena, but it had just been part of the act. The final battle he'd watched between Pyra and Quirinus hadn't been an act. Finnick heard Pyra shift and turned his eyes back to her. She was facing him again, the gun placed almost harmlessly on the ground next to her. She looked so fragile there on the floor, looking up at him. Fragile like Annie had been, like she still was sometimes. These Games played with everything that made a person up, and surviving them was only the beginning. A pretty girl like Pyra who hadn't gone totally off her rocker would have good use in the Capitol. He'd seen the interviews, and she played her public part well if the girl sitting on the floor was really the one inside. If she walked out of this house when the sun came up, she'd have plenty of hell up ahead of her. There wasn't really any way to avoid it unless she became more like this girl - and that was no way to live. Finnick gave a short chuckle at Pyra's question, shaking his head. Annie had asked him this question before, when the lines between nightmare and reality blurred and she needed something to hold on to. But the answer he'd given her would be different than the one he gave Pyra now. Both were equal parts true, but in different ways. "Winning was always my dream," he responded, answering her earlier comment first. He took a few steps toward her as he continued to talk. "I was a cocky little kid, you know? Everybody's best friend, willing to take any dare that came my way, but too caught up on my own pretty face and skill with a trident. Both worth getting caught up in, I might add. I knew I was going to win the second I saw the tribute pool, and I did. I won." Finnick lowered himself to the ground across from Pyra "I had everything I'd ever wanted. Everyone was chanting my name and my picture was everywhere - who wouldn't love that? He raised his eyebrows like an actual question, then his face sobered a bit. "It didn't really hit me until the Victory Tour, everything I'd done. All those families, angry at me. A lot of families. I was a real prick during my Games." He flashed a hint of a smile then looked down, remembering those faces for just a moment. They were there, right at the front of his mind. He looked back up to Pyra. "But I tried to go back to how I was. I was too proud to do anything like you're thinking, so I went on because it was the only thing to do. And eventually, I found more reasons."Finnick paused here, though it was clear he wasn't done. There was a lot he that had happened in his post-Games life, especially before Annie and the rebellion became a part of him. But it wasn't really the sort of thing you could put into words. He couldn't even describe that transition from flailing to the sort of stability he had now. "I drag myself out of nightmares and it's no better waking up, but it's better not to give in to it. It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.* I stuck around long enough to find something I want to fight for, someone to fight for, and I keep on breathing for them. And for me." WC: 810 Tag: Pyra Elswood Notes: *Actual quote from Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 / probably the books too.
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District 4
Heterosexual
18 Years Old
Relationship:
Complicated
Occupation:
???
HG Status:
Victor
Life of the Party
Last Online:
Nov 6, 2018 1:05:01 GMT -7
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Post by Pyra Elswood on Oct 5, 2016 22:09:24 GMT -7
Pyra, when she was training with Adam, had watched Finnick Odair's games and the after effect. He always seemed like the perfect victor--he had killed many tributes, he was happy during his interviews and seemed so prideful. She wanted to be like that, but seeing him now, she knew that everything on television isn't the way they seem. He had been through a lot, she assumed, and if anyone had a glimpse at the world she would be living, it would be Finnick. She listened to his story attentively. He sat down across from her, and for the first time in a long time, she connected emotionally with another person. She had connected with Adam and Quirinus in so many ways, but at this moment, she felt as if she could relate to Finnick more than anyone else in all of Panem.
He was so mature for his age, despite how the rumors said how childish he was. He had been through so much, and she couldn't imagine the struggle that he and Annie had been through all the years since their games. Her whole body was shaking. She felt like she could shatter into a million pieces at any moment. If it weren't for Finnick, she would be dead right now. She didn't know if that was necessarily a good or bad thing, but she was still alive nonetheless. "You must've been through a lot." It was all she could manage out right now. Taking in all of his story really made her think. Of course there were reasons for her to stay alive--hell, that was the only motive she had in the Games at the beginning. He was probably thankful that his pride got in the way of ending his life earlier and that he could move on because he had to. Pyra was never a prideful person, though it may seem like that when she had her interviews. "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't think you were a prick. Have you seen my games?" She gave a small smile to him. She knew that this conversation was anything but funny, but it just seemed like the right thing to say.
She had so many reasons to stay alive. Her love for Adam and her family, making her own life better by getting out of her family's shack, being a victor that everyone loved and adored. But Pyra also had many reasons to end her life. It was so hard for her to try to put on this act when she was just so angry and broken on the inside, though that was never the girl she wanted, or intended, to be. She wanted to be the happy, prideful girl that people saw in the first half of the games. She wanted to be that girl--the one who killed, the one who was making decisions for the Career Pack, and the one who tributes feared when they saw her. That girl was another version of Pyra Elswood, one that was determined to get home. But now that she was home, there was no determination left. She had accomplished everything that she wanted to do in the games.
Quirinus had been on her mind every day since the games ended. He would come and go, but his face was always there in her mind. She felt so guilty, and the guilt killed her. She kept telling herself she didn't care for him. She tried to convince herself that he was a nobody. Nothing but someone who tried to kill her too. Even during the games, she didn't realize the importance of him in her life until he died. Pyra kept saying and thinking that none of it was real, that they were just temporary friends. Even the best friends thing in the long-run was a lie, and because of Adam being tortured, she had to put any doubts down that Quirinus was someone who she felt as if he was more than a friend. No, she didn't love him. Pyra couldn't love him. She never wanted heartbreak from anyone, especially Adam and everything he had been through because of her. That was the guilt that was still tearing her apart, and she couldn't stop it. But Pyra loved Quirinus Pontifex, and she hated herself for it.
Finnick was right. It was so much easier to give into something than to come out of it. It was so easy to break than to stay strong. She let her broken state consume her, but she knew that there still might be time to get out of it. Finnick was amazingly brave, in her opinion. "Thank you for sharing that with me. I really do appreciate it. I needed to hear it for myself." Pyra really was thankful that he did share that with her. She needed to hear what another victor was going through and what he had been through. He was someone she wished she could be and someone she wanted to be. "I know things are only going to get worse from here. I had a reason to fight when I was in the games, but now my reasons just seem to be..." Pyra couldn't think of the word. Accomplished? Completed? Gone? She couldn't think of anything. She shook her head. "I know I shouldn't be selfish, but it's hard not to when the guilt is consuming me. Sometimes it's not even for the tributes I killed." She wondered if she should tell Finnick. How would he think of her? "I loved him, you know. I didn't realize it at the time, but I did and still do. If he were here, he probably would've laughed at my ridiculousness. But that doesn't mean I don't love Adam, because I do." She put her head in her hands, trying to think for a second. If Adam knew this, there would be no doubt that he would hate her. "I'm sorry for telling you this. I just...I hate myself. I can't seem to shake off anything that happened in the games, and moving forward seems impossible now." WORD COUNT: 1025 TAG: Finnick Odair
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District 4
Hunger Games Victor
Heterosexual
23 Years Old
Relationship:
??
Occupation:
HG Status:
Social Butterfly
Last Online:
Jan 17, 2024 11:55:03 GMT -7
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Post by Finnick Odair on Oct 6, 2016 10:46:58 GMT -7
"You must have been through a lot." Finnick shrugged the comment off a little, but he supposed he had. He didn't normally spill his story like that, but he'd felt she needed to hear it. And a part of him had needed to tell it to someone who might get it. Annie knew of course, and Mags, the latter better than most, but there was still something in telling it. When Pyra went on, Finnick hadn't expected her to try and do anything to make her feel bad, in this place. There was a twinge of guilt that the answer to her question would be no, but he just gave a bit of a smile as he addressed the rest of what she'd said. "No need to play tender with my poor feelings, Pyra. Finnick 'The Teddy Bear' Odair would have died in the bloodbath. So would Pyra Sweetheart."Finnick didn't interrupt her as she went on, working through what she was feeling aloud. Nothing he could say would change what she was feeling, and he didn't know her well enough anyway. Before this moment, he'd known only the basics of her story: strong girl, smart, fighting to save her family from poverty and come home to the man she loved, etc. Despite that, he understood what she was saying now clearly. He understood that empty feeling when you came out of the arena - just as you had wanted to - and didn't know what to do with yourself now that it was over. He understood that selfish guilt too, even though his was maybe not caused by the same thing. He'd selfishly killed, selfishly taken advantage of people in ways he couldn't undo, and knew that he wasn't a selfless man when it came down to it. When she was done speaking, Finnick wondered if he could have stopped some of what she felt. If he had done what he was supposed to do, played his role with grace and gone into the Games as a mentor intead of Annie, could he have seen what might happen with Pyra and Quirinus, and warn them? He'd always been perceptive, but had only become more so since he'd emerged from the arena. He'd had to be, in order to lead the life he did. To learn what he'd learned as a victor and a rebel, he'd had to really understand people, and he might have seen what those two would become. But no. He decided it wouldn't even have mattered if he had warned them. Advice was great before the arena, but once you were in there, everything changed. They probably would have behaved exactly as they had, and if she'd still made it out, she would have felt the same. Besides, he knew better than most that you couldn't control what you felt. She looked so defeated that Finnick couldn't help but put a hand on her shoulder, a sort of invitation. He wasn't sure it would be accepted though with what he had to say. "Adam won't understand," he started slowly, saying something Pyra already likely knew. "I think you're the first thing he's cared about aside from his mother." It wasn't a helpful statement, he knew, but he also felt it needed to be said. Finnick had mentored Adam's Games, and it was clear that he hadn't had any sort of emotional attachment to the other tributes. The thought of him missing the likes of Saber or Raeden was laughable, and the drunken state he'd put himself in since the Games made it clear enough that he didn't have anything or anyone else. But that was why he wouldn't understand, and Finnick knew it wouldn't go over well if Pyra ever confessed this to him. It wasn't his business though, of course. "But Adam wasn't in there with you. Quirinus was, and if you hadn't cared about him, you might not have made it out alive." Finnick hesitated to repeat the word she'd used: love. It wasn't so much that he didn't believe her as he didn't trust anything the arena made you feel. He couldn't say he'd loved any that went into his arena with him, but some of them had been like friends. He had missed them, even if he had been the one to kill some of them. He'd think of them at odd times, like seeing a spider might remind him of how Kella had once thrown a hunk of meat that hit Rex square in the face when she'd seen the spider crawling along it. The Career pack had broken into peals of laughter at both their red faces, and for a second they had just been a couple of kids around a campfire. But that wasn't exactly the same. He couldn't tell Pyra what she felt, couldn't tell her not to hate herself for feeling that kind of betrayal here, outside of the arena. He couldn't tell her to forget the boy either, since he was dead, because Finnick hadn't been able to do that himself. So he only said, "The arena is its own world. Who we are in there and what we did, it isn't who we really are." WC: 868 Tag: Pyra ElswoodNotes: Gosh dangit, Syd, you're breaking my heart and making me want to magic Q back so bad!
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District 4
Heterosexual
18 Years Old
Relationship:
Complicated
Occupation:
???
HG Status:
Victor
Life of the Party
Last Online:
Nov 6, 2018 1:05:01 GMT -7
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Post by Pyra Elswood on Oct 6, 2016 11:44:38 GMT -7
She hadn't known him for more than a couple weeks. Yes, she had met him before, but it was just a brief introduction. A "hello" and small talk, that was it. She didn't know that the man on the bench that day would be her tribute partner in the Hunger Games. Even when the time came, she didn't think much of it. Just another person she should kill, she thought, and another person she needed to trick into believing that she was a worthy opponent. But the time the two spent before the arena and during the arena felt like a lifetime together. By the end, she felt as if she knew him so well to the point where she had known him all of her life. Maybe it was just another trick of the games just as the torturing sequence in her brain had been, or maybe it was real. Either way, she knew it didn't matter now. It shouldn't matter. But it did. It mattered so much to her and it consumed her life, affecting her relationship with Adam and her family.
Why couldn't she get the brute man out of her head? She despised herself for it, and when talking to Finnick, she couldn't even say his name. There was so much guilt and pressure built on her that she couldn't even comprehend her own feelings. She said that she would never forget him, and she was right. How could she forget him when he was consuming her mind? The other tributes were there too, but he was there more than anyone. She remembered how he kissed her forehead, how warm she felt in his arms. "You have support back home. People who love you. You'd be okay." Those words stuck out in her head. It wasn't his last words, but it impacted her like no other. He spoke as if he didn't have anyone who loved him and how nobody supported him. She remembered seeing his mother at the speech and how broken she must have felt. God, she wanted him here. She wanted him here more than anything now. Pyra was guilty, and there was nothing else to it.
She wondered how Finnick must have felt when he was mentoring Annie. Scared as all hell, she thought. Sometimes she related Adam to Finnick and the positions the two of them were in. The difference was that Finnick faced his problems and Adam seemed to avoid them. Pyra wished that things could be normal like before. She wished that her and Adam would have led a happy life and nothing bad would have come of it. But of course, she had to mess things up as she normally did. She messed so many things up since the day she volunteered. The only things she seemed to fix was her money situation, but she knew that being rich always came with a price. And if this was the price she had to pay, she wished she could give it all back.
The blonde victor gave a smile at what he said. If she was weak and if she had the feelings in the arena that she had now, she definitely would have died in the Bloodbath. Anyone would have. That was what the Careers had the advantage over. They knew how to act in the arena, and any attachments were forbidden because it would just make you weak. That was her mindset in the arena. If only things hadn't changed.
Pyra knew she couldn't talk to Adam about this. She just needed to keep her mouth shut, and she was thankful that Finnick was here. "I know." She looked down and picked at her nails. She took a breath. "I've already caused him enough pain," she said dreadfully. Maybe one day this would pass, because nobody should be in love with a dead man. He wasn't coming back. He was never coming back. Though she wished he was. If she had to decide now, she would give her life for him. It was a little too late for that though, she knew.
But she had to disagree with her caring for Quirinus. She would've made it out by a landslide if it wasn't for Quirinus. If she had just been detached like she was on the first day, things would have went smoothly and she could've used the Careers to her advantage. She was a good liar, and she could have pretended that she cared for Quirinus. That was what the two of them did with their fake romance, despite how bad she was at flirting. But the fake romance was the one thing on her mind--was it really fake? Of course the flirting was, but the way they addressed each other, even when she felt like the cameras weren't rolling on her, was something different. They connected in a way she had never felt that connection before. She kept thinking of him as a friend, but that whole friend thing was just to mask her own feelings. She knew it now.
When Finnick said his last words, she looked at him. "But it defines who we are. I'm a murderer, and that's who I am in the world now. I killed those children in the arena, and their parents think that the Pyra in the arena is the Pyra in real life. The arena brings out the worst, and sometimes best, in people. We come out of there knowing what we are capable of doing. Who we are in there is everything as to who we are out here." She seemed to be speaking in an angry tone, but to her, it was a tone of regret. She had regretted everything she had done in that arena, and she had to live with the consequences of it.
WORD COUNT: 987 TAG: Finnick Odair NOTES: Hahaha sorry! My heart is breaking too The feels!
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District 4
Hunger Games Victor
Heterosexual
23 Years Old
Relationship:
??
Occupation:
HG Status:
Social Butterfly
Last Online:
Jan 17, 2024 11:55:03 GMT -7
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Post by Finnick Odair on Oct 6, 2016 20:17:06 GMT -7
Again, there was nothing he could say to her words about hurting Adam, so he let the words be. It was the name of the game, hurting people, and he couldn't speak to her relationship with Adam. After he finished speaking, he considered her response for a moment. There was some truth to what Pyra said. The arena set the stage for life after it. Finnick had learned more about himself in that arena that he had learned anywhere before or since. But he refused to believe that the 14-year-old boy who had slaughtered other kids - after manipulating them into thinking they were friends - was the essence of Finnick Odair. She was right that it was murder, but he was not a murderer. It wasn't who he was now, but just a temporary role he'd had to fit into to survive. When you were trying to survive, everything was fair game, but out here? Life was so much more complex, and required a different sort of person than the murderer who fought their way out of the Games. "Pyra, how many people look up at my pretty face on the screens and remember the way I ran Kella Merlin through with my trident?" Finnick asked, his eyes locking with hers. He had flinched, only slightly, at the use of her name - a name he hadn't said out loud in a very long time. It had struck him suddenly how similar he and Pyra were in that way: both running their district partner through with a trident, gifted by the very district they had come from. "Kella grew up here. She had a family here, people who missed her when she died. People should hate me in District 4 just as much as in the other districts of the tributes I killed, but they don't. Sure, I avoid the Merlins if I can, out of respect. But if everyone thought I was a murderer instead of a handsome bachelor they want to sleep with, do you think I would still be alive?" For a second, he saw Kella shrieking about the spider, and the laughter that followed. Then she was shrieking in the last moments of her life, no laughter this time, and Finnick on the other end of the thing that killed her. He swallowed, pushing down a rising tide of anger within him. It's what he felt now, more than any other emotion, when he thought of his own arena, or when Annie awakened after yet another nightmare about it. When he continued, his voice was harder. "We did what we had to do in the arena. It's a totally different world out here."Finnick's eyes left Pyra's face, and lighted upon the gun on the floor. It was still laying there, innocuously, it's metal gleaming just a little in the moonlight. He reached over her to pick it up, feeling the weight of it in his hands. No, he'd never gotten as far along as Pyra had tonight. He wasn't lying about the pride, but there was fear too. Who knows what waited him in death, and he wasn't exactly eager to find out. Finnick slipped the magazine of the gun out easily to check that it was loaded, then slipped it back in with a click. He knew how to use a gun. His contact through District 13 had taught him, although they practiced with guns much larger than this small, almost harmless-looking piece. He looked back up at Pyra, flipping the gun around to offer her the handle. "You're not a murderer," he told her. "Real murderers don't care that they've killed." WC: 599 Tag: Pyra Elswood
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District 4
Heterosexual
18 Years Old
Relationship:
Complicated
Occupation:
???
HG Status:
Victor
Life of the Party
Last Online:
Nov 6, 2018 1:05:01 GMT -7
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Post by Pyra Elswood on Oct 11, 2016 9:15:48 GMT -7
Pyra knew she hurt Adam without him even realizing it. She had and always will have the most commitment to him, and she loved him more than she could even express it. But just thinking of another man, and one that was dead, was unfaithful, and she knew it. She could justify it all she wanted. It could mask itself as something that was just a phase. She knew it wasn't though, and it would never be. She could hide her love for Quirinus from him, but that didn't change the fact that what she was doing was terrible. She wondered why the brute haunted her dreams. Was it because he deserved to win? Possibly. But loving a dead man didn't make her situation any better. It only made it worse, and if Adam found out, it would break his heart. Finnick was absolutely right. Carrying on without Quirinus had to be a priority if she was going to patch up herself and her relationship. That was, if she could get him out of her head.
Finnick was a man who was the perfect victor. She always thought he was. He had his act together, he was charming, and he seemed to be living the life. But things were at a totally different perspective when Pyra was a victor as well. She thought life would be like his, but even Victor's lives were two faced. Everyone saw the lavish life Finnick Odair lived, but when it came down to it, it wasn't lavish at all. In fact, he was hurting just as much as anyone else. And yet, he seemed stronger than most victors she knew.
She looked at Finnick and the way he spoke about his district partner, Kella Merlin. "Nobody except her family, I assume," she said to him, knowing she was right. Her family must have despised Finnick like Quirinus' family must have despised Pyra. He listened to his story about Kella, and she knew it was similar to her story. But, once again, she knew he was right. Nobody hated Finnick Odair, as far as she knew. He was probably the most liked victor in all of Panem. Nobody cared if he murdered anybody, because they all swooned in the mask of his presence. It had seemed like the two worlds blended for her, but Finnick seemed to separate them so easily. Pyra's nightmares kept her awake most of the nights, and the nightmares seem to stay in her head for quiet a while. But maybe she would get over it eventually.
"But I am a murderer," she said, taking the butt of the gun and looking at it. It seemed like a harmless piece of metal, but it was one of the most dangerous weapons Panem had. Hell, even the Hunger Games didn't have it. "We're all murderers. It doesn't matter that we care. We've killed so many people, and trying to find an excuse is a waste of time," she said, the last part she mostly said under her breath. She hated to say it, and she despised herself for saying it, but she did it anyways. "I hate myself now because of what I did in there. It's effecting everything I am out here. I feel like it's not even worth it." Adam. Breckon. Ma. Pa. The four people that mattered the most to her. The people she accomplished her dream for. They would miss her, she knew, and so she had to stay alive for them. She knew if she didn't, there would be a lot of pain in store for them, especially after the pictures they put in her head of the torturing. That was one thing she couldn't get out of her head. WORD COUNT: 626 TAG: Finnick Odair
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District 4
Hunger Games Victor
Heterosexual
23 Years Old
Relationship:
??
Occupation:
HG Status:
Social Butterfly
Last Online:
Jan 17, 2024 11:55:03 GMT -7
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Post by Finnick Odair on Oct 11, 2016 12:46:31 GMT -7
Pyra's mental path was not Finnick's, but it wasn't something he could change with just a few words. To him, the pain mattered. If he was put in his arena again today, he wouldn't do anything differently. If he went in again - a threat he didn't doubt the president capable of - he would kill again. But the difference was that he was using that pain and hate to pay back the people that were letting that cycle continue. He was using it to protect future people from the same pain. If he believed he was a murderer, on par with Snow and his government, he'd probably want to take himself out of the equation too. He had an outlet for that though and Pyra, as yet, didn't seem to. She'd have to find one eventually, whatever it was. "Then use that hate. Not for this," Finnick said, gesturing toward the gun, "but for something... better." Here he stopped, because Finnick understood that he was stepping into dangerous territory. It had taken him years to get to this pseudo-stability, to be comfortable leading at least two concurrent lives. He couldn't tell Pyra what he had done with his own hate, not yet and not for this reason. She was putting all the blame on herself, which was unfortunate, but she'd have to find her own way to put the blame where it truly belonged. She wouldn't find that way here, tonight, with Finnick Odair as some odd sort of guide. Maybe if he was about 60 years older, a woman, and answered to the name Mags. "Alright, morbid girl, we're done. Crisis averted," Finnick said, standing up suddenly. His demeanor had changed abruptly from serious to a more normal version of himself, putting a solid end to their previous discussion. He reached down and hauled Pyra to her feet as well, only grabbing her free hand just as a minor precaution. "We both know you're not going to kill yourself tonight. I don't know about you, but near-death experience deserves a drink. You wouldn't happen to have also stashed a little booze in your family home, would you?" Honestly the suggestion was just a change of topic, but he wouldn't mind a drink either. It would help him sleep later, assuming he could sleep and that Annie wouldn't wake up again before morning. WC: 392 Tag: Pyra Elswood
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District 4
Heterosexual
18 Years Old
Relationship:
Complicated
Occupation:
???
HG Status:
Victor
Life of the Party
Last Online:
Nov 6, 2018 1:05:01 GMT -7
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Post by Pyra Elswood on Oct 12, 2016 7:41:35 GMT -7
Pyra, only a couple minutes ago, seemed convinced of her destiny. After all, she was certain that people would go on without her. And though nothing had really changed, she figured that she would give life another chance. She owed her life to Finnick Odair whether she wanted it or not. If it wasn't for him, she was certain she would be lying on the floor in a pool of blood. That might still be her fate, but not today. She would live on and nobody would know what happened this night except for Finnick and Pyra. "I just went for a walk, I couldn't sleep," she would say to Adam as she slipped back into bed. She promised she wouldn't lie or hide anything from him anymore, but for both of their sake, she would have to. Just this once.
She listened to him as he spoke. Pyra looked at the gun as he gestured towards it. She dropped it as if it was something burning in her hands. This wasn't who she was. He then continued to speak and finish his sentence. She looked at him, knowing what he was talking about without even hearing it. She wasn't a stranger to the rebellion, after all. Things had been rocky for the last couple of years, and this year more so than any other. She had heard Adam talking about it and tensions were high.
Honestly, she hated herself, but she hated the Capitol even more. They put those false thoughts in her head and made her fight even though she did everything they asked. She may have volunteered and she didn't pity herself, but it was the Capitol that made her fight against her own will or else Adam would be punished. It wasn't fair then and it wasn't fair now. She left the silence between Finnick and herself. She was interested in the rebellion, but it was too soon after the games. She needed to give herself some time.
When Finnick had changed the subject, she was glad. She smiled and rolled her eyes when he called her morbid girl. That was the Finnick she had seen on television, making jokes about the most serious of subjects. But Pyra didn't mind. The change of topic was much needed. She had grabbed Finnick's hand and stood up, leaving the gun on the floor. She doubted that anyone would come back here. It was deserted, and even the worst of homes in this part of town was better than the shack she used to live in.
When Finnick asked if she had any alcohol, she had to think. "I've actually never drank before, but my father did every once in a while. I think he might have some whiskey in the cabinet," she said, sliding by him and walking into the big living area. The reason she had never drank before wasn't because she had the desire, but because she didn't have time in her schedule before all of this happened. She was so busy working and training and taking care of her brother that there was no time or money to have a hobby of drinking. But tonight, she needed to have a drink. She saw Adam drink a lot, and she was hoping to possibly forget everything she had done tonight.
Pyra opened the cabinet, and there were two bottles of whiskey and one bottle of vodka, which were all mostly full. She figured it was the cheapest stuff that came out, but from what she knew, it was sometimes the strongest. "Take your pick. Sorry it isn't much," she said to Finnick, giving him the choice of the vodka or whiskey. WORD COUNT: 615 TAG: Finnick Odair
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District 4
Hunger Games Victor
Heterosexual
23 Years Old
Relationship:
??
Occupation:
HG Status:
Social Butterfly
Last Online:
Jan 17, 2024 11:55:03 GMT -7
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Post by Finnick Odair on Oct 12, 2016 9:55:40 GMT -7
Finnick was glad that Pyra had accepted the abrupt change in topic without complaint. He was a bit antsy after such a heavy topic. Of course, his life was full of heavy topics - it's just that most of the people he had to spend time with didn't acknowledge them as such. He'd had to conform to that world, and it was exhausting - though also a bit relieving - to treat things as they were for a change. "Never drank?" Finnick repeated with mock surprise, though really he had none. "Well, that wasn't going to last much longer anyway." He knew exactly what it was like to be a Career training for the Games when you were dedicated. Practice and bragging were about all you had time for then. Career kids just didn't have enough fun, which made it all the worse when they died in their Games. He got the feeling that Pyra's wasn't exactly a typical Career story, but she had volunteered. She didn't seem the type of girl to do so wholly unprepared, and so probably still missed out on a lot of the things he had too. Following her into the living room, Finnick took a moment to glance around the home. The Elswoods certainly hadn't lived in the poorest part of the district, but of course it paled in comparison to the victor homes. It felt very... family, very lived in. That was the only way he could describe it. His old home had felt like that once, he supposed, but it had been years since he'd even thought of it. He hadn't even visited it after he'd won, too caught up in his new life intially to bother with the old one, and then too much time had passed. There was nothing to go back to there anyway. The people who had lived there were gone, except himself of course. Someone else probably lived there now, someone who bragged about living in the home that Finnick Odair grew up in. "Ah, good. I'm more a vodka man myself anyway," he said when Pyra opened the cabinet for him. He reached up to pluck the vodka from the shelf, not bothering to check the label. Cups would have been too much to hope for, but they weren't really needed anyway. Finnick unscrewed the cap and took a long swing. The liquid burned down his throat, crude and clearly cheap, but it was perfect for a night like this. He didn't like the stuff of the Capitol nearly as much as most people thought he did, and it took longer to get drunk on it anyway. The alcohol lit a fire inside his body now, one that was familiarly pleasant. He gave a whistle, then offered the bottle to Pyra. "Your dad doesn't fool around, does he?"Now that they were drinking, Finnick wanted to keep his mind as much off the subject that had brought both of them here as possible. He glanced down at his wrist, expecting to find his watch there before remembering that he hadn't bothered to put it on when he went outside. Well, it didn't matter much. He had a guess at the time by judging how long it had been since he walked out his front door, and most of the district would be sleeping for a while yet anyway. "A million years ago, I'd be getting up pretty soon," Finnick told her. "I hated it. It was all dark and empty except for the few other smelly humans making their way to the docks or the Academy." He chuckled, then shrugged. "But I've got to say, I've learned to like it a bit." WC: 613 Tag: Pyra Elswood
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District 4
Heterosexual
18 Years Old
Relationship:
Complicated
Occupation:
???
HG Status:
Victor
Life of the Party
Last Online:
Nov 6, 2018 1:05:01 GMT -7
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Post by Pyra Elswood on Oct 12, 2016 11:40:34 GMT -7
Pyra had always wondered why her father wasn't an alcoholic. He always had so much on his plate, and worked harder than any person she knew. He had to take care of his autistic son, his wife who was in a vegetative state, and Pyra who was training for the Hunger Games during the last year all while working 12 hours a day on his fishing boat. The blonde girl always looked up to her father, and she never condoned him for having a drink every once in a while. She was never one of those girls who complained about her life, though, and that was what her father taught her. Someone's life was always worse. That what exactly what she thought just a few minutes ago when she had the gun in her hand, and she thought she was that person. She then grabbed a bottle of whiskey, knowing that her family and Adam wouldn't like it, but she did it anyways.
"I guess not," she said with a laugh when he took a drink of the alcohol. She looked at the bottle and hesitated. It was funny, really, that she was nervous to take a drink of alcohol when she outlived death in the arena. What a loser, she smiled as she thought it about herself. She then unscrewed the cap, just as Finnick had done, and took a drink of the grain-color liquid.
She almost spit the drink out. It was disgusting, but she forced the smooth liquid down. She waited to take her second drink, and once she did, it was easier to handle. It was definitely not Pyra's drink of choice, but if it would make her forget about tonight, she was more than okay with it. She then started drinking, and she was glad that she could finally relax a little without anyone watching her. She was so tired of cameras.
Finnick started speaking about his life a few years ago, before his games, and she laughed. "Hey, I was one of those smelly people, you know. I worked in the docks before school, so don't judge," she smirked and took another drink. She was finally about to be casual, and she was okay with that. The more she drank, the more she forgot about the gun in the other room. She looked at Finnick, raising an eyebrow. "Was the academy fun? When I think of the academy, I think of asses fighting each other and crying if they don't get the top spot. You went there, right?" Pyra took another drink. She was starting to feel really good--better than she had in along time. WORD COUNT: 445 TAG: Finnick Odair
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District 4
Hunger Games Victor
Heterosexual
23 Years Old
Relationship:
??
Occupation:
HG Status:
Social Butterfly
Last Online:
Jan 17, 2024 11:55:03 GMT -7
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Post by Finnick Odair on Oct 19, 2016 9:00:57 GMT -7
Finnick couldn't help but smirk at the look on Pyra's face after that first drink. After that, though. it seemed she was taking to drinking quite well, and he let her to her whisky while he kept to the vodka. There was something companionable in this, in drinking to get rid of everything else. He couldn't let his guard down completely around her, but then, the list of people he could let down his guard at all was incredibly small. He didn't have to perform. At her hurt return to his musing, Finnick held up both of his hands in surrender. "Not judging," he said innocently. "I was one of them too." The docks when he was younger, Academy when he was older. Half of the time, he wondered if he wouldn't have been better off sticking to the former. A fisherman was a respectable enough job, and there were some people that would still be alive if he'd kept to that. He'd just be another guy in District 4, well-liked enough but otherwise unremarkable. But maybe some people would be dead instead - like Annie. Maybe the Capitol's reign would last just a little bit longer without his intel, racking up just a few more deaths. There was no way to know. As for Pyra, It didn't surprise him too much that she was one of the kids who went to the docks before school. If your family was in the fishing industry, as so many were, it was practically a given that the children would come along at some point. It was especially true of the poorer families. He had to laugh at Pyra's question. "Fun?" he repeated. "Fun wasn't ever the point." He took another drink, seeming to think about it a moment. Academy seemed to zap the fun right out of a big part of childhood, which was why so many Career kids and victors ended up so messed up. As he continued speaking, Finnick moved the bottle in his hand in little circles, the sloshing of the liquid inside creating a soft, comforting swishing sound. "Yes, I went there. Your picture isn't all wrong, but some of the criers would rather beat up the winners with a gang of their friends as well. Or they'd get their wealthy parents to do something about it. Leads to incredibly stable people, of course." His last remark was clearly sarcastic, and he toasted the air before taking another drink. Obviously from her question, Pyra hadn't been a Career girl herself. Most of Panem probably wouldn't believe that. Aside from her emotional crying at the end of the Games, all interviews and recaps seemed to peg Pyra as a ruthless killer, well-deserving of the title she had fought to win. He considered her a moment. "So, you made your own luck, then? Got a normal upbringing but came out of it big and strong? Not everyone can say that." WC: 489 Tag: Pyra Elswood
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District 4
Heterosexual
18 Years Old
Relationship:
Complicated
Occupation:
???
HG Status:
Victor
Life of the Party
Last Online:
Nov 6, 2018 1:05:01 GMT -7
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Post by Pyra Elswood on Nov 15, 2016 11:18:02 GMT -7
Pyra kept drinking. She wanted to get blackout drunk. That was her intended goal. Though the alcohol was quite disgusting, she knew she would be able to drink the night away. This was probably the longest she spent in her old home in years. It was either school, on the boat, or at Adam's house. She could barely spend an hour awake in the home, as it was normally just for eating and sleeping. The home was dull but it was her home nonetheless. With Finnick there, the house seemed to be less dull. Pyra then took another chug at her alcohol. She knew she shouldn't be doing this and would definitely get in trouble, but she didn't care. She was the damn victor of the 76th Hunger Games, and tonight, she felt invincible.
"I bet you smelled like stinky fish when you were done with the docks, that's how everyone smells," she said, letting out a burst of laughter. She wondered if she still smelled like fish. Most likely not, she thought, as they probably scrubbed the stench right off of her when the opening ceremonies happened. Pyra had gotten used to the smell over the years; she barely even noticed it after years working. It was the smell of someone who worked their butts off. The only people that judged were the rich, but that was because they hadn't worked a day in their lives.
She took another swig of the alcohol, feeling herself letting go more and more. This was the first time she drank alcohol, so she was probably one of those "lightweights" the Capitol used to talk about at those parties. Half of the bottle was gone now, and she felt like she was still doing alright. She winked at Finnick as he finished. "Sounds like a bunch of swore losers," she said, smirking. "When I lived here, we never cared about winnin', we cared more about sur..surviving. Just like the games, amiright?" She toasted Finnick with a smile on her face and took another drink.
The blonde girl clasped her bottle as hard as she could. She didn't want to lose it, but her vision was starting to blur. Good. She gave out a light laugh and tilted from side to side on the floor. "I wouldn't call me big and strong," she said, lifting up her arm and making a muscle pose. "But I lied to people so they I could get what I want. Do YOU think I would be in the cayreers if they knew I was a stoopid fisherwoman? Nah," she said, she took another drink. She smiled. She was down to a fourth of the bottle. "Adam is gonna kill me, like definitely Hunger Games style," she laughed.
"You're the coolest ever Finnick," she said. Man, he was just really cool right now. She wanted to be best friends with him. "You can take ya alcohol really well! Uh, how's Annie? She seems sooooo nice. I wanna be friends with her too," she took another drink and smiled. Annie's hair was so cool. "She's got that flamin' hair going on," she said, laughing. She was cracking herself up. WORD COUNT: 535 TAG: Finnick Odair
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District 4
Hunger Games Victor
Heterosexual
23 Years Old
Relationship:
??
Occupation:
HG Status:
Social Butterfly
Last Online:
Jan 17, 2024 11:55:03 GMT -7
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Post by Finnick Odair on Feb 11, 2017 12:42:54 GMT -7
"I certainly did," Finnick agreed with a grin, chuckling a bit as her mirth turned to laughter. The smell was maybe the biggest indicator of his changed life. Sure, he still went to the docks, but he went from constantly smelling like fish to smelling pretty nice, if he did say so himself. Pyra would go through the same transition herself, if she hadn't really already. She didn't smell bad right now. Under the smell of the alcohol and the old house, her smell was simple. Nice. It didn't seem forced, like most smells were in the Capitol. He felt like he'd needed a drink after his words about Academy, and he laughed at Pyra's response. "You're not wrong," he said, shaking his head. "But it's really all about winning, after that. Surviving is winning. Winning is winning. I always have to win, and if you're not winning..." He let that hang in the air, gesturing vaguely to nothing with the hand that held the bottle. Then he took a drink. It was a lot of work to always be winning everything. Losing wasn't an option anymore, not as far in as he was. The stakes were too high, and sometimes he just wished it didn't matter. How long had it been since something wasn't life and death? Finnick took another swig of his drink as Pyra answered his newest question, though Pyra was quickly surpassing him in drinking speed. He should tell her to slow down, really, but to what end? They both had so many rules, and there shouldn't be rules when it came to drinking. Drinking was drinking. If he had to take her to a hospital, he could. No one would be surprised to see a drunk Finnick, though perhaps a drunk Pyra would throw them off. But he was enjoying this now nearly as much as she seemed to be. No cameras of District 13 or Snow or Annie to be strong for. Just Finnick being Finnick, and Pyra being either Pyra or just a product of whisky, who knew. She was starting to rock from side to side, the movement slightly blurred in his vision. Nope, Careers certainly wouldn't have took in a normal fisherwoman. 14-year-old Finnick wouldn't have, and he shook his head. "Adam won't kill you," he said, patting her leg. "He'd be an ass to try, but I don't really know him too well, so maybe he is an ass. I'll kill him if he tries though, even if he fails. Why not? People forget I killed people. I can still do it." He laughed at that, though if he'd been entirely sober, killing wasn't something he'd laugh about. But he wasn't, and it was kinda funny. Everyone loved him because he had once killed a bunch of people, but now that he wasn't killing people, they dressed him up and made him dance and forgot that maybe he could kill all of them too. Every last one, and it was just funny that they weren't even a bit worried. Finnick grinned at Pyra's next words. "Yeah? I'm pretty cool," he agreed. Her movement was getting to him a little bit, so he moved around her on the floor and pulled her back against his chest. He held her loosely and took another drink of his bottle while she babbled on. It was to the babbling now, but Finnick didn't care. He could babble with the best of them if he wanted. "Annie's my fire," he agreed with a half grin. "I'll probably get her killed one day, but yeah, she needs friends. You should be friends." He shook his head, drinking again. "Annie's sleeping, for once. I don't want to talk about Annie. Or anything sad, Pyra. Pyra. You know, that's fire too. You're fire." He chuckled. "Tell me something happy, fire girl." WC: 643 Tag: Pyra ElswoodNotes: Three months later, a drunken Finnick emerges
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District 4
Heterosexual
18 Years Old
Relationship:
Complicated
Occupation:
???
HG Status:
Victor
Life of the Party
Last Online:
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Post by Pyra Elswood on Feb 12, 2017 17:27:41 GMT -7
Pyra listened to Finnick about how surviving was winning. She was confused, but she got the gist of it. He was right, after all, though she didn't feel like surviving was winning. To her, surviving was just another punishment of winning. She shouldn't have to keep winning for what she went through--none of the victors should. When he finished his sentence, she held up her drink and then took another swig of it. She was alive, and though she wouldn't consider that a win, it was still something that was worth toasting for. She wondered how hard it was for Finnick to keep surviving. He had so many bad things that could happen to him if he just took one misstep. He was still alive, which he seemed like he was okay with. She wanted to be like Finnick, to actually have a positive outlook on things despite how shitty a situation could be.
She took another drink, knowing fully aware of the consequences. Pyra wondered if she was a terrible person. She didn't really think about other people's feelings that often until she went into the games. Before, she would strike up conversations with people, but in the end, nothing came between her and her family's survival. That was her exact mindset when she went into the games too. She wasn't going to think about the people that cared for the tributes she killed. She wasn't going to let her own feelings get in the way of her winning. If she could've done just that, if she could've just not given a damn about Adam and Quirinus, she could've gotten out of there without any repercussions. She could've been fine with a big house and her family and lived next to Caspian and Finnick, both of which had their own lives to handle. But it couldn't have been like that. Pyra had to actually care about the people that came into her life. If she could take it back, she would, because it just hurt both her and Adam in the end.
When Finnick started talking about Adam, she laughed a little and took a drink. She knew Adam wasn't going to physically hurt her, but rather probably be angry at what she did. Even drunk Pyra could lash back at him. He drank, so why couldn't she? "Aw, is okay Finnick. He won't like, actually kill me. Ya don't need to kill people anymore. You're nice, but ya definitely win in battle between...me and you. Adam and you should be friendsss. He can be too serious sommtimes." She laughed. She knew it was true. Finnick would crush her. They both used a trident, but she knew he was more skilled just by seeing his Hunger Games.
Pyra did feel bad for dragging Finnick into this situation, but she wondered if he minded. He got cheap booze, didn't need to put on a show for anyone, and got to act however he wanted in front of the blonde girl. She wouldn't judge. She normally didn't, unless they were a complete psychopath. Even the weaker ones that she killed in the Games she didn't judge. She stated facts about them and that was that. Pyra wanted to try and manipulate people when she was in there. Whether it was with her backstory or to try to be someone she wasn't. But when she got into the games and how real they were, she didn't try to become that liar she intended to be. If anything, she became more honest and real than before she volunteered. It only helped her because she wasn't going to let herself die in there. She had succeeded, though sometimes she wished she didn't.
As she drank the last of the bottle, she wondered about how her life would be in the future. Since she was engaged, she wondered if Snow would make her be a prostitute in the Capitol. She knew it happened with Victors. It happened with Adam, and she figured it happened with Finnick. Maybe she would turn to alcohol, like she was now, but that couldn't be the worst thing in the world. Pyra was so uncertain about what was going to happen in the next few years, but she wasn't really too excited about it. But now, she just wanted to focus on drinking.
Pyra was glad Finnick had made her stop bobbing. She was even getting more dizzy just by doing that, but she was glad that he did something about it. Maybe it would delay her inevitable puking of the toxins in her system. If Adam had seen them, he might get the wrong idea, but right now, that was the least of her worries. She wanted the other bottle of whisky, but she knew she should let her stomach settle first.
She had always heard stories of Annie. How she survived the flood in the games but came out victorious. Finnick seemed to love her more than anything when she listened to him speak about her. He had said that she was his fire. She could tell Finnick was a passionate guy even if he didn't say it outright. She hoped that, one day, she could be passionate about someone like Finnick was with Annie. She wondered why talking about her made him sad. Was it the fact that she was mentally unstable? Or the fact that she could disappear from his life if he did anything wrong? She didn't want to ask.
"Psshhh, I'm no fire. If aaannything, I'm sand." She laughed to herself. It was dumb and definitely didn't make sense, but that was probably Pyra as a whole right now.
He then said to tell him something happy. She laughed when he said that Pyra was like fire. She hadn't realized the connection before, but she didn't mind. It was fun. But what did she have to say that was happy? She was having doubts about Adam, she was in love with a dead guy, and she had nothing to look forward to in the future. Maybe a hospital trip, if she was willing to drink that far. "Happy?" She said with a laugh. "Uhhh, I don know. Oh wait, I got it! So did ya know that...know that...my favorite food is broccoli? Most people hateeee broccoli, but I can't help it." She knew she was speaking like a child, but she really couldn't think of anything else that was moderately happy. "How 'bout you? Tell me somethin' happy Mr...Odair." He could probably easily top her, considering what she said wasn't very happy but just a fact. WORD COUNT: 1110 TAG: Finnick Odair NOTES: Sorry this was a lot longer than I originally anticipated o.o
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District 4
Hunger Games Victor
Heterosexual
23 Years Old
Relationship:
??
Occupation:
HG Status:
Social Butterfly
Last Online:
Jan 17, 2024 11:55:03 GMT -7
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Post by Finnick Odair on Feb 20, 2017 12:56:54 GMT -7
"Ya don't need to kill people anymore." If only that were the truth, the whole truth, and nothing like the truth. He would. The day would come when his number was up again, and he'd have to kill. But he didn't want to think about that right now, so he decided not to. As she went on, he shook his head, laughing a little. "What would we talk about?" he asked her. "'How're those nightmares coming along?' and 'Nice fish today, huh?' and 'Oh, moody silence, I see, I can do that too'." He laughed again, trying to picture for a moment the attempt at having more than a cursory conversation with Adam. It looked funny in his head, though it did seem true enough that the guy didn't really have much in the way of friends. It was comforting to Finnick to hold Pyra, even though his initial motivations for doing it were purely to get her to stop moving around. There was nothing sexual or insinuating about it, but it just felt friendly. There was no pressure for it to be anything more than a comfort to both of them, and no audience to give it some context it didn't have. Annie certainly wouldn't enjoy finding them like this, and neither would Adam, but this wasn't about either of them. Pyra let him hold her too, and that was nice. He could feel through his chest when she talked or laughed, and the smell of her was far more pleasant than the old home or the vodka he was working his way through right now. "Sand?" he repeated when Pyra rejected what he'd called her. "I doubt that. Sand is so... boring. And everywhere." There were other connections he could probably make with sand and personality traits, but that felt like a little too much effort right now. A sober Finnick could turn that into a pretty analogy, but a drunk Finnick simply didn't care. She wasn't sand though. Tonight proved that, even if he hadn't known a single other thing about her. Nobody was sand, except maybe a vast majority of the Capitolites. They pretended to be interesting, and while a handful of them truly were, he could do without the rest of them easily. Finnick wasn't really sure what he'd been hoping for when he asked for something happy, but broccoli certainly hadn't been on his mind. He laughed at her choice of happy though, taking another drink from his bottle. "Gross, more for you!" he said loudly, shaking his hand. He was in the camp that wasn't a fan. When she turned the question back on him, he scrunched his face a bit, trying to think of something suitably happy to turn back to her. "Well, to start-" He picked up a piece of her blonde hair and sniffed intentionally loud. "You don't smell bad anymore. Let's see, what else?" He looked at his vodka, swirling around the remainder of its contents. There was only a tiny bit left now, though Pyra seemed to have finished her own. He took another drink before continuing. "Vodka is tasty. Sunsets on the water are pretty. I really like albacore when its cooked juuuuust right by this family down on the boardwalk. Damn, I could go for some now. I feel really good right now, and all of this-" He motioned vaguely to the area around them. "It's going to be better one day, and I'm gunna be part of that." He nodded satisfactorily and finished the rest of his bottle. He set it on the ground and rolled it away from them, enjoying the sound of the glass running over the floorboards. "Your turn again." WC: 618 Tag: Pyra Elswood
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District 4
Heterosexual
18 Years Old
Relationship:
Complicated
Occupation:
???
HG Status:
Victor
Life of the Party
Last Online:
Nov 6, 2018 1:05:01 GMT -7
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Post by Pyra Elswood on Feb 21, 2017 0:38:48 GMT -7
Pyra laughed when Finnick had talked about Adam. He was right, after all. From what she knew of Finnick now and what she knew of Adam, they were complete opposites. Adam did have his moods and was a lot more serious than Finnick was. It wasn't a bad thing, but it was a noticeable difference between the two of them. Finnick used his charm and was a definite people-person, and Adam was more introverted and brooding. He had a reason for it, of course, but sometimes she just liked to have fun and he was too deep in thought. It was understandable, though it had made them more distant lately. She had wondered if their relationship was even worth it after all they had been through. She didn't want to break his heart though, not after the nightmares he had, but at the same time, she wondered if he was interested in her at all. Maybe that's where her longing for Quirinus had been inputted. He was there in the games with her when nobody else was.
Before the games, she had usually thought of herself as a very independent person. Most of her life, she was the one to take care of her family. She helped with her brother and bought medicine for her mother. She brought the load off of her father because one income in a family of four wasn't enough. Now, after the games, she hated being left alone. She had always wanted someone there, whether it was her family or Adam or some fans. When she was alone, she was afraid of doing something bad, like she almost had only a little while ago. The thoughts she had terrified her and she hated being alone with them. Finnick had been her designated friend for the night, though she wondered if they would speak again after this. She hoped they would and possibly become actual friends.
When he spoke about sand, she laughed once again. She was very giggly, though that wasn't a bad thing in her eyes. "Yeah...I'm pretty everywhere tonight thoughhh," she smiled and half shrugged. "Is, like, well I'm in five different places 'cause I'm seeing like five different door frame thingys in my sight." Her vision was blurry as hell and she loved it. Pyra was having so much fun, and it wasn't even a party setting. She knew that sometimes, drinking with one other person was the best time someone could have.
She then listened to what Finnick had to say even though drunk Pyra was slightly insulted that he hated broccoli. The blonde girl lost it when he grabbed a piece of her hair and smelled it. "Finnick, Finnick, Finnick...sooooo funny Finnick." She was still laughing when she said that. It wasn't sarcastic at all, and she couldn't stop laughing. She took a breath to help her stop laughing to listen what else he had to say.
If Pyra hadn't been drunk and actually tried to listen to what Finnick said, she would have been curious as to what he meant by how he was going to be a part of changing the world around them. Maybe she would have asked questions, and maybe she would have had answers from the ginger-haired man. But she was in her own little world, and thus, she rarely paid attention to the words that were spoken in the room. She could only understand the base context, and that was completely okay with her. She was done being complicated and emotional. All she wanted to do now was converse and have a good time.
"Ya knowww," she said to Finnick, holding out her hand to see if he would let her take a drink of his bottle. She then saw that he had finished his bottle, and she made a pouty face. She then perked up remembering what she was going to say. "I'm suuuuper proud of yew. Like, for real. Yew are always lookin' at the good side of things. I'm sooo jealous, for real." It was true. Even now, drinking cheap alcohol in the poor part of town, he had good things to say when all she could think about was broccoli. She could tell why women were so infatuated with Finnick. He was handsome, funny, and was passionate in everything he spoke about, whether he was drunk or sober. Pyra aspired to be like that, but she wasn't that type of person. She wasn't really hilarious or passionate or even beautiful. She was average in all of those.
Pyra had been asked to come up with another good thing to be happy about. She figured her broccoli answer wasn't good enough for the elder victor. But she then had an idea, one that was still pretty mediocre but more thoughtful. At least, as thoughtful as drunk Pyra could get. "Welllll, I'm hangin' out with the great Finnick Odair! Duh! That's...that's somethin' to be happy about, right?" She said questioning herself and burped. She really did enjoy hanging out with him and wouldn't mind if they did it again under better circumstances.
"I...I bet you can't name another happy funny thing! I bet you that last bottle of....of alcohol, yeah?" She said, knowing that since he was so positive, he could probably do that. She didn't know if she could think of anything else, as drunk Pyra was running out of ideas. She was honestly just happy to be alive, drinking cheap alcohol. It was a pleasant change from her mindset when she was sober. WORD COUNT: 932 TAG: Finnick Odair NOTES: To be honest I had no idea what albacore was, but now I know! Thanks for the seafood information, Rebecca! Lol
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