The Girl Who Waited || SOLOQUEST/OPEN

Breathe. Inhale, exhale.

She had to remind herself to breathe. Deeply. Inhale, exhale. It should not have been hard for Ambrosia--it should have been so natural. But it was not. She had so many things going on at one time that, sometimes, she had forgotten how to breathe. The girl with the red hair had sat upon the roof of the training center at night time. She sat in her interview dress as her mind wondered and flew at a million miles per hour. She thought about her interview, the games, her brother, her home, and herself. It was all scrambled to the point that it gave her an incredibly aching migrane

Breathe. Inhale, exhale.

She was wrapped in a blanket that she wished was warmer than she thought. It was the only thing visible when she had left her apartment in a hurry. She remembered the blood streaming from her knuckles as she rushed herself into the elevator up onto the roof. Maybe Ambrosia overreacted, but it was a way of letting her anger out. She hoped that the mirror was ruined and that they had to buy a new one. She thought the interviews would be easy and relaxing, but she was so wrong. Why did she have to get so mad? She didn't want to. But it had happened, and she figured that nobody would want to sponsor her. She had gotten out of hand, and it was her fault. She was in this herself, and neither her escort nor her mentor could convince her otherwise. Ambrosia had to convince herself that she was not going to die, but with twenty-three other tributes, the odds were definitely against the girl's favor.

Breathe. Inhale, exhale.

The plants surrounding her made her more calm, especially with the variety of colors and plants that the roof provided. It was beautiful, and the wind chimes hang dinged softly. She never thought she would be able to see such a place like this, but it was a great place to be when everything was quiet except for the wind whistling and the wind chimes dinging. She had let down her red hair, letting the wind take it as it blew against her face. The temperature was perfect, and the night sky lit up with stars and the moonlight and the lights from the Capitol shining above. With her eyes closed, she imagined it being like home. Home was just like this--with the wind and the stars and the plants, except she felt so safe there. Ambrosia was guarded by the long grass and black sky back at home. She was with her brother who was laugh and talk about his day. The two of them would lay down in the long grass at night and just talk to each other about everything--their animals, how the day went, who they liked and disliked, ghost stories, and how they felt about everything happening in their lived. Oh, how they almost made it. She was so close. Six more months, and she would have turned eighteen. One more year and she would have been out of the reaping. They were so close. Why had she been so stubborn to think that she would not have been picked? She was so confident, and now, the odds were so against her favor that her viewpoint of confidence would never be the same again. Ambrosia didn't want to die. She wanted to wait. Wait for the Games to be over. Wait for her brother at the train station to hold him in her arms. Wait for her to fall in love and have children of her own all while taking care of Cite. And now she would not experience any of that. She would die, and she didn't want to die. She wasn't ready.


Breathe. Inhale, exhale.


She exhaled and inhaled. She needed to calm down. Ambrosia was so worked-up, and it made her sound crazy. Looking behind her, she saw a plant with long, green leaves. She didn't know what it was, but she went over to it and picked the leaf off of the green, heavy duty plant. She wrapped it around her bleeding knuckles and grasped it, tightening her grip on her hand. It hurt like hell, yes, but it was better than the wound being open and bleeding on her midnight blue dress. She kept the gray blanket around her shoulders, as it would have been slightly chilly if she didn't have the rough, warm wool on her pale, cold skin. She ventured towards the end of the roof and looked down. There was so many people gathering in a hall. Maybe it was for an after-party, as they seemed all fancy. How did they ever have time to party? All the red-haired girl was work and eat and sleep. She never had the time nor the popularity to party with people her age or go to fairs that would be held every year. It was not fair. Why did these people, who lived an amazing lifestyle and never have any worries, get to not participate in the Games? She didn't understand it. They were born with ease and they will die with ease. To Ambrosia though, she was born with hardship, and it was likely that she would die with the same hardship put on her shoulders except with the weight of death and desperation. She knew her brother was waiting for her, and she was waiting for him. She had to be strong for him. He would be watching her every move on the television, and she knew it. She just hoped that the orphanage was not too crowded. Even though he might be in hell right now, she did not plan on keeping him there. She needed to stay alive for the sake of him. She needed to keep her positivity up, and she would do anything it took to get home. She knew that she might not be herself again, but she needed to try and be calm.

Breathe. Inhale, exhale.

Ambrosia ventured away from the top of the roof and wondered into the greenery of the roof. The only sound that could be made was her footsteps, and the wind had stopped. She was all alone in silence. She looked around and saw nobody, not to her surprise. Ambrosia wished someone would come, but at the same time, she wished that she could just be alone for once. She did not want to be judged as stupid or idiotic or useless. People thinking that she was a weak girl made her feel so vulnerable, and that was the worst feeling of all. Vulnerable and afraid. Most of the time, she didn't care what people thought. She only really cared about taking care of her little brother, and she did not have time to think about what other classmates and citizens of Ten thought of her. She could honestly give a damn less. But now, with the whole world watching her and thinking she is an idiotic girl with very little brains, it was scary. She wanted to do this to not be a target for the Careers or other tributes, but it had backfired. She had blurted out anyways during her interviews, and though she tried her best to look weak, she talked to Caesar like she would talk with any other person--with power and strength. Her eyes were dangerous to look into. Like her escort said, her eyes could pierce daggers through someone alone. Being weak made her genuinely tired, and she was so over being tired. She had earned a score of 1 like she was suppose to, but when it came to her talking, she was such a sweet talker and always used her charisma skills. This time though, she had a smart mouth and was sassy. And at the end, the girl was angry. Her brother might have seen her angry, and she hated that she did that. But that was who she was, and she wasn't going to hide that.

Breathe. Inhale, exhale.

She had an ally, but how long would that really last? They both needed to go home, and they both probably had families. To be honest, Ambrosia would not sacrifice herself to save any of her allies. She needed to go home, and that was the only reason she paired up with her. She needed a strong team, or just a team in general. And she had gotten one. As she got near the elevator door again, she saw a table with a couple plants and a notebook. Raising an eyebrow, she went to grab the notebook. The pages were blank, but there was a pen by it too. Maybe she could write a letter to her brother. If he died, maybe he would get it somehow. Or at least she could give it to Leetha and she might be able to deliver it to him. Anything could happen, and if she had to die in the games, she could at least give him one final letter. Taking the notebook and the pen, she went back to the garden and sat back down. She leaned against a large pot and started writing.

Breathe. Inhale, exhale.

Dear Cite,

I know you are probably scared and alone, and I'm sorry I couldn't make it home. I tried my best, and you probably saw me fall. I just want you to know that I love you. So much. I would do anything for you, and you know that. I am sorry that I couldn't fulfill my promise to you that I would come home. It is the only lie I have ever told you, and I am very sorry for that. But now, you have to be a big boy. With mother, father, and me gone, you are the only Asher left. You need to carry out the name with pride and do something spectacular with your life. I don't care what it is--join a rebellion, join the Peacekeepers, be a baker, or be a rancher--mother and father would be proud with whatever you do. I am proud of you as well. You have always stayed strong when the going got tough, and you became so big when father died. You matured so quickly for your age, and I am so sorry that you didn't have a childhood. But you always made me so proud, with your good grades in school and you chatter about your new friends. I am going to miss you so much. You were everything to me, and I am sorry that I couldn't keep you safe any longer. Now, it is your turn to protect yourself. You will achieve great things that neither I nor our parents could do, and you will live as old as Old Man Jenkins if you try hard enough. I will just miss you, and one day, you'll meet a pretty girl and marry her. I'll be at your wedding in spirit. And you'll have children, and I hope you tell stories about Aunt Ambrosia. But if not, I would understand. And then you'll have grandkids and great grandkids. But even if none of that works out, I just want you to be happy. I want you to be happier than I ever was. Try to get along with the kids in the orphanage. I know it will be hard and that you're tougher than most of them, but try to stay positive and just get out as much as you can. Don't let anyone treat you badly either, because if they do treat you badly, I will haunt them forever and ever. Just please, please be happy. I know it will be hard with out me, but stay strong. Be whatever you want and stay as strong as you should.

I love you,
Ambrosia

When she was finished writing, she dropped the pen down and carefully ripped the lined paper out of the notebook so it would not rip. Tears streamed down her face. Writing the letter made her realize that she didn't know what she had until she lost it. She had lost so many people before, but now as she faced her own death, she didn't know what to think of it. Her brother was so far away, and it seemed like years since she last saw him, but it had been less than a week. He was the last person she loved and she trusted, and now, she was probably going to be with her mother and father. She did not want to, and she did not know whether she was more upset at the fact that her little, helpless brother would be without his family for the rest of his life or that she knew she would die. It seemed to tick in her head like a clock--it seemed to count down the number of days she had left, but she hoped that was just the stress that was building up on her.

"Please, just let me live," she said to herself.

Breathe. Inhale, exhale.

All she wanted to do was live. In all of her life, that was the only thing she asked for. Who she was asking, she didn't know. But she wanted to ask just in case someone was listening. Maybe it was not present in physical form, but maybe it was some ghost who was listening. Maybe it was someone who might save her when it came down to it. It wasn't likely, of course, but the red-haired girl had to try. She hated making wishes and hoping that something would happen, but just this once she made a wish and she hoped for the best. Whether her wish would come true or not would be all up to the girl who waited, but it didn't hurt to make a wish. Even if it made her weak and made her seem like some sort of crazy person, she didn't care. She was alone (or so she thought) and she wanted it to stay that way. Just the fact of being alive after all of the years of hardship and death would surprise even the most doubtful of people, and Ambrosia wasn't just going to let it all go now. She was going to live. She had seen the horrible death of both her mother and her father, had raised Cite all by herself, and she had never gotten caught by the Peacekeepers of illegally raising a child under the age of 18. Her luck wasn't very good, but it was good enough that she hoped that she could win the games. It better be good enough, because if it wasn't she would be so disappointed. Even in her afterlife would she hate herself for not being able to protect her brother. She felt a little reassurance when she wrote the letter, and she was more satisfied that, if she died, he would be able to see the letter. It still didn't fill the void of letting down the one person she cared about, but it was enough to keep her from breaking down all the way.

Breathe. Inhale, exhale.

Wiping the tears off of her cheeks, she walked back over to the table. She sat down both the paper and the pen and looked towards the elevator. Maybe it was time for her to go back down and sleep, though it might be very close to impossible to actually get a good night's sleep since the Games were the next day. Ambrosia took the leaf that wrapped around her hand and unwrapped it. It was a bit bloody, but it seemed to stop the blood for now. She pressed the button for the elevator, and she waited for it. The red haired girl dropped the bloody leaf on the ground, and the doors to the elevator finally opened. Exhaling, she stepped into the elevator and pressed the "10" button. She would definitely miss the greenery and the stars that lit up the sky. She might be able to see the stars in the arena, but she knew that they would be modified by the Capitol. They wouldn't be real, but she hoped that she might be able to see the stars again when she got out of the arena...if she got out of the arena. The elevator descended, and she figured that it was pretty late. Everything seemed to be empty and quiet, and when the tributes were awake, it was anything but. The silence of the training center was so foreign to her, but she liked it.

Breathe. Inhale, exhale.

The doors finally opened on her floor, and Ambrosia got out. Before she went inside, she took off her heels and dangled them by her fingertips. They were so uncomfortable, and she had wondered why she didn't take them earlier. In the other hand was the letter that was folded into fours. On the front it said Cite and she wanted to give it to Leetha without her making a big deal about it. Entering her room, she walked in quietly and put her shoes by the door. She never wanted to wear those again. She looked over and saw that everyone was asleep. Good. She threw her letter onto the counter, hoping her escort would see it in the morning and take it. In her midnight blue dress, she walked into the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle. As she started to exit the kitchen, she then saw a cookie jar out of the corner of her eye. She could never afford to buy cookies back home, and with an eyebrow raised, she walked over there. Popping the top off, she grabbed the decorated blue cookie and ate a small bite. It was heavenly, and she ate the rest within a minute. Resisting the urge to eat more, she finally figured that she wouldn't be able to sleep. Ambrosia walked out of the door with her water bottle in hand and entered the hallway. She leaned her back against the wall and slid down it. She sat there barefoot in the comfortable carpet, rubbing her toes against the softness of the green rug. She took a sip of the bottle and waited as she always did. She waited for morning to arise and for morning to greet her like a dagger in her heart. The girl who waited always seemed to be waiting, and sometimes, she waited for absolutely nothing. But now, it seemed as if she was waiting for her death.

Breathe. Inhale, exhale.



count : 3145 tags : Nobody...for now.
noted : anyone can join! :-) And seriously, I mean anyone. Gamemakers, tributes, mentors, escorts, or even all of the above. Just something to pass the time before Tuesday's games!
credited : KBIRD of caution 2.0